All my life ppl told me that i am …. Too fat…. Too ugly….. worthless…. And i will never achieve anything in life…
And here i am …
A 25 year old stay at home mother and wife.. I might not have what YOU consider an awesome career … and i dont make a shit ton of money… but i have ppl in my life that love me for WHO i am … they accept me with my flaws … my mood swings…. i am a mother of three wonderful Girls, I have a husband who adores me and loves me unconditionally… i have a beautiful home and wonderful friends.. if you ask me I HAVE IT ALL.. i have everything i ever wanted in life and then some … but yet i am still unhappy and feel like this ugly fat kid from a few years ago.
Ive lost 40 pounds since i gave birth to my daughter Hailey in Jan 2010 and ppl constanly comment how good i look ( i think they are just trying to be nice) and how i did it and how JEALOUS they are …
they say things like ‚‘‘ i wish i had you body.. you should stop complaining and be gratful for the way you look‘‘…. I AM grateful that i have lost so much weight and i am ‚‘‘Happy‘‘ ( sometimes) but i wish they could HEAR my thought and FEEL my Pain raging inside of me… ist a constant battle with ana … a constant FIGHT to EAT healthy instead of STARVING myself…. I compare myself with EVERY girl i see ( and when i say EVERY girl i mean litteraly EVERY GIRL) i look at girls and think they are so much more pretty… so much more skinnier then me…. It makes it really hard for me to balance between healthy eating habbits and old ANA habbits.
they say things like ‚‘‘ i wish i had you body.. you should stop complaining and be gratful for the way you look‘‘…. I AM grateful that i have lost so much weight and i am ‚‘‘Happy‘‘ ( sometimes) but i wish they could HEAR my thought and FEEL my Pain raging inside of me… ist a constant battle with ana … a constant FIGHT to EAT healthy instead of STARVING myself…. I compare myself with EVERY girl i see ( and when i say EVERY girl i mean litteraly EVERY GIRL) i look at girls and think they are so much more pretty… so much more skinnier then me…. It makes it really hard for me to balance between healthy eating habbits and old ANA habbits.
And then the guilt i feel for doing this to myself….. for hurting me this way… But in the same second the guilt of eating or enjoying ‘‘BAD‘‘ foods . I wish ppl would understand that instead of making stupid comments. Ist definately NOT easy to be me lol i wish my heart and head would work more together when it comes to myself… I wish i could see me through my husbands eyes only once to see what HE sees in me maybe i could finaly find peace….
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